I Am the Bad Waffle

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Aug 1

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

Aug 1

(Source: timelordgifs)

Aug 1

obveously:

pizzatomb:

imagine if china, while they’re up on the moon, decides to knock down the US flag or whatever just to say ‘screw you’ and its like, what are we gonna do? spend a couple million just to fly some craft up to the moon and re-erect the flag? the whole scenario would be petty and that’s hilarious 

i have lived in america my entire life and i am 100% sure we would do exactly that

(Source: exeggcute)

Aug 1

jolteonerrex502:

brothertedd:

Before and After Video Effects – Movies

Let us take a moment to appreciate all the effects people who create these things and the actors who make you believe them.

Aug 1
georgetakei:

Now they’ve gone stone gold silent. Oh Myyy

georgetakei:

Now they’ve gone stone gold silent. Oh Myyy

Aug 1
Aug 1
dustofhonesty:

-Quand j’ai vraiment envie de lire le livre sur le retour d’hitler

dustofhonesty:

-Quand j’ai vraiment envie de lire le livre sur le retour d’hitler

(Source: gif-tv)

Aug 1
  • (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
  • Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
  • Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
  • Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
  • Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
  • Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
  • (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
  • Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
  • (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
  • Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
  • Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
  • Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
  • (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
Aug 1

baddygirl-2:

blackalleykat:

urulokid:

freddyskrueger:

toocooltobehipster:

3 year old death grip!

omfg

iM LAUGHING SO HARD BC THE BROTHER IS STARING AT HER LIKE “OMFG” AND SHES STANIDNG BACK THERE HOLDING HER HANDS LIKE “i never knew what i was capable of, my powers are here”

I just reblogged this yesterday but I fucking had to do it again because it gets funnier every single time omg

lmfaoo yo her faceee

ranetree:

(Source: peregrint)